The Start

First 3 days of the diet and exersize. Urgh. Headaches during the first couple of days. Unavoidable. Body is switching from comfort food, crappy snacks, junk food, to something more natural. Or perhaps just another kind of artificial. Who knows these days…

First bodyweight/sandbag/kettlebell workout yesterday for….well, months and months. Way too long. Body doesn’t like it, thats for sure. Muscles groan and complain this morning as I got out of bed. It’s a good, familiar ache though. Less like an exersize routine, more like a workout. The bike will be out of the shop next wednesday, season-ready and fitted up. I will start to hit the pool again next week.

Long bus ride this morning. Brooding about the ex. In long-term relationships, over time, I can be objective, in reflection, I can appropriate a balanced kind of responsibility. The rights and wrongs. I can be brutal in my assessment, usually about myself. I know when I have made mistakes, done the wrong thing, and I try and reflect, learn, move on. In this last case though, it feels like I did good, that I was a nice guy, that I made good choices, that I acted responsible. And yet…and yet….she left me. She decided to finish things. I got that ‘you’re such a nice guy, you deserve to be happy, blah blah hand-off from her.

I can be an asshole in a relationship, or a saint, and things finish the same. After the dust settles, I am single, and left with questions. It leaves me that little bit harder inside.

New cellphone. Takes nice pictures. The snow is almost gone, at last. Summer is coming. I am ready for it. I want a summer of fitness, of health, of activity. The clock is ticking.