Archives of Memory

Fragility

Hot and Cold. There are people that thrive in one condition, and tolerate the other condition. In my experience, few people enjoy both extremes. As for myself, I can bear being ‘too hot’, ...
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I should start here.

It is May. 2017. I am 46. I am 14 days from a return to the UK. I haven’t seen home in a number of years. On this whirlwind trip around the UK I will also see a few friends that I haven’t ...
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Intimate Distance

This title is something I struggled with for much longer than the inspiration for the blog itself. First…I want to say that anything contained here is from my own skewed, flawed, imperfect persp...
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Where we go, where we’ve been.

There is a memory I replayed this morning, a clear moment in time. A humid city square next to an ancient wall, stormclouds gathering, between showers, the concrete slick and shiny. I was walking alon...
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Remembering

The picture shows a boy lying on a yellow foam matress in the back garden, basking in the sunlight. When people ask me what my first memory is, I detail this moment. The sun is blinding, I see the lig...
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I am falling in love with my cellphone

Until a couple of years ago, I was never much of a smartphone guy. My fascination with cellphones, at least aesthetically, had begun sometime ago, back when I lived in China, I found them cheap and us...
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Thought Thirty-Five: Walthamstow

My mom was punched in the face. Did that statement make you pause the coffee cup half way to your mouth? Make your eyes flick from the youtube video to this particular collection of pixels? Well, I gu...
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Thought Twenty Seven: Man Love

I was a young man who once loved a young man. This is my confession. 1989. Portsmouth, UK. I was 18. It was the year of Tiananmen, the Hillsborough Football Tragedy, and the Fall of the Berlin Wall. ...
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Thought Seventeen: First Love 3

The car slowed and stopped as she slipped past the vantage point I had from the front steps, but I already knew what was coming. I was kind of numb about it, in denial. I knew, but I didnt know, or wa...
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Thought Sixteen: First Love 2

So, despite the level of stress, we continued. During that summer, I lived in London with my mom, and Rosalie in Portsmouth with her parents. We traveled to see each other when we could. In spite of...
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Thought Fifteen: First Love 1

It is true what the majority of people say, that the first time you fall in love, you fall the hardest. Its the only time in my life I have ever trusted someone unquestioningly, and would gladly give ...
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Thought Eleven: I Remember

You see, its what you forget. What you lose. What slips through your brain full of holes. The little things, the stuff of life, the stuff that makes you smile, makes you cry. The lead character from t...
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Though Eight: Hitchiking Five

The longest trip I attempted, in my younger more optimistic days (not that im THAT old now, it just feels like it) was a trip from London, UK to the South of France to see a friend who was working in ...
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Though Seven: Hitchiking Four

Ok then, we’ve pretty much covered this topic, but heres my two most unusual lifts: The first, forgive me, is a story I tell from time to time, so if youve heard it before, well, just skip over it, ...
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Thought Six: Hitchiking Three

There are days when it takes forever to go a few miles down the motorway, and there are days when everything just comes together, days when I was actually faster than public transport. I lost count of...
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Thought Five: Hitchiking Two

So! If youve followed the steps in the last blog, then youre ready to go, and you stand a good chance getting a lift. Thumb out, smile, clear sign, dont let them get to you… Its a weird kind of feel...
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Thought Four: The Magic!

I did my time in higher education (in fact, more than my allotted time, considering I tried, quit, and tried again) at, primarily, Newport College of Art and Design, in Newport, surprisingly enough, i...
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Thought Three: Tears

The first film I ever cried to. When I was a teenager, I would suppress the urge to display emotion in soppy films. Actually, its more accurate to say that I wasnt really moved by any of them to any e...
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Thought Two: Scorned

I was at school. I want to say, something like 14. Not entirely sure, but somewhere around that. Teenage crushes, finding your feet, defining your personality. Generally school was an unhappy time for...
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Thought One: Hitchhiking One

When I was a teenager, fresh out of University, or rather, fresh out of uncompleted University, I wanted to live the student lifestyle, hanging on to what mystique remained of the student life. Eating...
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