Validation

I just dipped my toes in to the new season of Black Mirror, the first episode, called 'Nosedive' deals with being digitally 'liked' to the 'n'th degree, in fact, your social standing, lifestyle, livelihood, day to day existence depending on it. It got me thinking. Do we have the ability to live in a validation-free society? (Should we even strive for that?) Can we create without validation? Is art defined by it's validation? As far as the art question, I had a passionate debate with a roomate Read more [...]

Pain is a person.

Let me begin by admitting something. I am a wimp.   I don't think I am being overly unkind to myself, I am just being realistic. I am not a manly man; the kind of arm-amputee-its-just-a-flesh-wound type of alpha male. My relationship with pain is a long one, to the extent that I was so accident prone, and in and out of hospital type establishments when I was a child that my mother was casually quizzed about her level of care and attention to me. I would regularly clatter and bash my childhood Read more [...]

Hi, Mom.

It's me. Your son. Your first born, your only born. Our lives have a curious kind of mirror. I realize I know so little about you before I was born. I left home when I was almost 16. I realize you know little about me since then. Mom. We don't talk about things, do we? I mean, really talk. About the things just under the surface of our banal lives. Beyond the news and the weather and the tv and our day in day out. The British runs in our DNA. The things left unsaid are the things that often Read more [...]

I am not Deadpool (and so am you)

Featured Image - Chibi Deadpool by Teimari "The forties are the time when you begin to take notice of certain aches and pains. Your body and brain behave in inexplicable ways: Less hair on your head, more in your ears and nostrils. More memories in the bank, less synaptic firepower with which to access them. Gravity has started to show its inexorable pull." Hampton Sides The once-upon-a-time title to my blog was 'Why I don't exist', but I figured that was too doom and gloom. So, I am in the Read more [...]

Intimate Distance

This title is something I struggled with for much longer than the inspiration for the blog itself. First...I want to say that anything contained here is from my own skewed, flawed, imperfect perspective. As it can only be. And it may be completely wrong. Second. To be frank...who cares. She won't read it. We are standing outside. It's cold. I haven't layered up, so I am shivering. I don't smoke. I went outside because she went outside for a smoke break and I wanted to be near her. She is Read more [...]

On Anger

I would say it has been about two years since I lost my cool. Perhaps another 6 months-1 year before then for the time before.....perhaps another 3 years for the time before that. I would like to think I am a calm person...then again, I think we all would like to think that. I know I am not a violent person. I have been beaten up before, and not returned the violence. I stood in a bathroom when I was about 23 and got punched in the face over and over until the guy just gave up out of tiredness/boredom/annoyance Read more [...]

Sky Scared – My first drone flight.

New experiences. Ooooh. So, my stabilizer friend, Sunny, was kind enough to pull a few strings on the other side of the world and get me a drone at cost price. It all happened in a rush. We were talking about it last week, it was shipped from China on Thursday, and I was picking it up via DHL in Montreal the following Tuesday. It struck me how interconnected the world is these days. From thought to recipient in a matter of a week. I had long desired a drone, in order to stay competitive in Read more [...]

On Failure..

When I go and see a movie, I will always have an opinion about it, but good or bad, I will always stay to watch the film. My general outlook is that you can learn as much from a bad movie as you can from a good one. Even if it annoys you, repulses you, theres as much to be gained from the stuff you disagree with as from the stuff you enjoy. It becomes harder to apply when the subject is yourself rather than some movie, but the general rule still applies. I planned on a bike trip to New York Read more [...]

Where we go, where we’ve been.

There is a memory I replayed this morning, a clear moment in time. A humid city square next to an ancient wall, stormclouds gathering, between showers, the concrete slick and shiny. I was walking alongside her, drawn to her side, as was my habit. She was the flickering lightbulb in my life at that stage, I was the helpless moth, blinded to the outside world, hovering, orbiting, fluttering around the edge of her vision. I realize that my life is spent in these chunks of time that go by hidden from Read more [...]

Soon…

https://goo.gl/maps/20xpm Read more [...]

Haiti – Day Six – The Bittersweet

The sun rises on a final day in another world. The sound of church bells becomes a part of the morning routine now. Not to say that in six days everything becomes routine, because I just have to glance over the balcony and take a breath and listen to the sounds to realize I am far, far away from home and the familiar, however, the ebb and flow of the day begins to settle into me. Not much to report, a long slow morning of packing and arrainging. I wasn't so sad about leaving. I felt like although Read more [...]

Haiti – Day Five – Crossing Over

Today was an early start....wasn't every morning? We were up before sunrise again with the over enthusiastic church bells (did I mention they are recorded, not live? I felt sightly cheated about that bit...church bells from speakers from an on-off switch feels slightly like religion-lite). After breakfast...finally got a hold of a needle and thread and sewed up the ripped crotch of my jeans. Breathed a bit of life into them again:) Out of the house by 7am for a long drive through the countryside Read more [...]

Haiti – Day Four – Contrasts

After the more emotionally turbulent day previously, we were up again at the crack of dawn...quite literally...I was shuffling around before sunrise, at 5.30, only to find that there was no electricity, water, or church, which was supposed to be the reason we all woke up early. I filmed the sunrise whilst the group hung around waiting for breakfast. After food, the clinic opened, which is the reason the people were there. Attached to the housing section is a small walk-in clinic, and next to that, Read more [...]

Haiti – Day Three – Pride and Prejudice

A day of thoughts for me. The timetable was relatively simple, Church in the morning, then a free day, a trip to the beach. I am staying on a church compound, a gated community, containing a couple of school buildings, a small walk-in clinic, a pharmacy, the pastor’s building, containing the rooms where we sleep, and at the top of the hill, the church, an imposing building set at the base of a mountain range that sits between the city and the beach. There is a long walkway and a final flight Read more [...]

Haiti – Day Two – Church and State

Saturday morning comes early. Really, really early. As is life, it seems around here. Awake with the heat of the sun means awake at around 6-6.30, maybe earlier, evening sleep comes around 9pm. I had slept in fits and starts, but was rested enough when the sun came up. The power was cutting in and out during the night, which would wake me up each time the electricity kicked in, sparking the fan back to life. The main order of business today was going to be Mgr Max Mésidor succeeding Bishop Read more [...]

Day One – Welcome to Cap-Haïtien

2.27 am – Saturday, January 17th. Cap-Haïtien, Haiti. 93 percent humidity, around 21 degrees. I don’t think I have ever flown for so short a distance, and yet come to a place so far away. I set out from Miami International Airport having only slept about 3 hrs the night before. Head buzzing full of ideas, making sure I had effectively prepared for the trip, running through mental checklists of equipment, my brain simply didn't allow me the luxury of a good night’s sleep. The trip is Read more [...]

Week One

It's the first week of 2015, or rather, the first week of 2015 has already passed us by. Just like that. One week from 52. A year sounds so short when it's broken down into smaller parts. Our human invention, time, dissects moments, stopwatches the world. The passing of time becomes paramount these days, I am aware of my age, swimming upstream against my youth. I realize I should accept the process, embrace the passage of time, but it feels increasingly finite. Things feel like they are shifting Read more [...]

Closer and Further Away

On the first day of a new year I find myself watching a movie from a dead director. It began as a play, in 1999, one of the stage performers being Maggie Gylenhaal, playing Alice. The same playwright, Partick Marber, then went on to adapt the play to a screenplay, and the film was directed by Mike Nichols, who in 2014, died aged 83. The film is 'Closer'...following the lives, primarily, almost exclusively, of four people, two females, two males, as their paths cross, intersect over the years. Read more [...]

Remembering

The picture shows a boy lying on a yellow foam matress in the back garden, basking in the sunlight. When people ask me what my first memory is, I detail this moment. The sun is blinding, I see the light behind my eyelids, I open it to a full, summer sun, I roll to my side to see a yellow foam mattress and a back garden. I guess I am around 4 years old. I own this moment. It becomes my first self-aware moment on this planet. While I was in the UK, I left my mother a small, cheap, photo scanner. Read more [...]

Words: Worth

Today's' episode is bought to you by the letter...well...all of them. "another thing, baldrick, belly, bird's nest, blackness, box unseen, breach, case, charged chambres, chaste treasure, circle, city, clack-dish, cliff, commodity, constable, corner..." I recently stumbled across a post on Reddit talking about how we hear our own voices differently than how they actually sound. I can't remember the exact terminology, but it's a combination between how the voice rattles around our internal Read more [...]

On ego (and the losing of)

What to do? You are a content creator. It's your job. (You, meaning me, in case you're confused.) You are paid to create. In the act of creation, you become attached to your creation. How can you not? You invest time and effort into making something, and in any context, in almost any situation, this creates an emotional attachment, and by extension of your emotional attachment to your creative output, you are drawn to defend it, to stick up for it, as if it's an unfairly bullied child on the school Read more [...]

I am a mirror. I want to be a beacon.

Here's how it goes. I work with clients to realize their own visions. I translate their thoughts and ideas to moving images. I strive to achieve the things they have in their head through the digital medium. In essence, I am a mirror. I attempt to reflect their ideas back to them. The mirror changes from client to client. Sometimes it's clear, sometimes cloudy....sometimes the reflection is accurate, sometimes it's on a distorted surface. The thing about my job, at least, to the level and extent Read more [...]

Dating. Missing

I have a profound sense of loss and longing after a blind date. It's not to do with the blind date partner. I'm not entirely sure what it is. Online dating is a modern cure for the age-old symptom of loneliness.I think I stay single because I am afraid of putting myself out there, afraid of being assessed and judged. The older I get the more I worry that I am set in my ways, unbending, inflexible, opinionated, and that it will reflect on me as a person. The metro ride home from the date was Read more [...]

I am falling in love with my cellphone

Until a couple of years ago, I was never much of a smartphone guy. My fascination with cellphones, at least aesthetically, had begun sometime ago, back when I lived in China, I found them cheap and useful, and on my westerners salary, I could afford a relatively stylish one. My love affair ended with a broken heart as soon as it started though as I owned it for precisely two days until I managed to leave it in a bus station. My next phone, and phones after then were a little less fancy, a little Read more [...]

Fat

Disgusting image! Yeah! Woo! That is 1lb of fat. I lost a little over 4 of those in the last 7 days. Thats the equivalent of half a healthy baby....or 15-20 medium sized potatoes. The thing is...the human body can fluctuate up to 5lbs in any given day...water weight, time of day...etc etc....and the beginning of a diet always sees the most dramatic changes....so I am not jumping for joy or anything yet....I need to see consistent loss, over a number of weeks...as long as the general direction Read more [...]

Thought Thirty-Five: Walthamstow

My mom was punched in the face. Did that statement make you pause the coffee cup half way to your mouth? Make your eyes flick from the youtube video to this particular collection of pixels? Well, I guess it should, but there's some adjustments to that statement you should know. Don't get me wrong. The statement stands. Or at least, that's what I was fairly reliably informed from her partner at the time. I wasn't there. I didn't see it. I am not even sure that my mom knows that I know. It Read more [...]

The Sky and the Ground are One

A grey day. The kind of day where the concrete has more texture than the skies, but they meet in perfect tone and hue at the horizon. A run. I have yet to run for an extended period of time without breaks, which is a frustration, but it is early days, and the body is oh-so-against-me. This will improve over time, and time is what I have. Or rather, time is what I will give myself. The winter came with work, and work was my excuse to lose the time I needed. There wasn't much needed to tilt the Read more [...]

Freeform

Writing without an idea, at least for me, is a little dangerous. You never know where you're going to end up, how you got there, where you're going. Unchecked, uncensored thoughts jostle for attention, craving to be digitally immortalized, rendered in pixels for all to see. From the banal to the mischievous, all eyes on the next line. I watched no less than 3 sylvester stallone films practically back to back today. Bizarre. First, Rocky III (the one with Dolph Lungren in it). The music was Read more [...]

The Start

First 3 days of the diet and exersize. Urgh. Headaches during the first couple of days. Unavoidable. Body is switching from comfort food, crappy snacks, junk food, to something more natural. Or perhaps just another kind of artificial. Who knows these days... First bodyweight/sandbag/kettlebell workout yesterday for....well, months and months. Way too long. Body doesn't like it, thats for sure. Muscles groan and complain this morning as I got out of bed. It's a good, familiar ache though. Less Read more [...]

Let It Go

And I sure did. The last year hasn't been particularly kind to me, in a number of ways, but in the case of this post, how I have treated myself. I have gone from marathon running and triathlon prep-ready, to overweight, lumbering, unhappy. Gah. There is a laundry list of excuses, but I can't rely on them, even though some of them may be valid reasons. I basically just gave up on myself a bit. The long winter lulled me into inactivity, and I surrounded myself with comfort food. Anyway, sloth Read more [...]

Fresh Start

Nothing (much) to see here. Testing out my blog after years of not using, and adding some random smartphone pics from my new phone. More meaningful stuff to come…  

Two Three Four Seven

I dont consider myself a runner, I never have, a reluctant one at best. In September 2010 I took part in my first formal run, doing the 10k from the 20th Montreal Marathon. It was a fun experience, crowds, noise, roadside entertainment, and a finish inside the olympic stadium, which was a great experience. Since that stage, my running distance had increased, gradually, through my first winter's running, in the snow and the cold. I had extended my running distance to around 15 miles by the Read more [...]

First

OK. So. I should be sleeping, but I need to write first. The average life expectancy for a UK male is 77.2, and a Canadian male is 78.3. Lets round this up, add a few years for good benefit (assuming that the technology to extend/improve lifespan will improve during my lifetime) and we have roughly 80 years on this planet. Half Way There. Its 2011, and I have turned 40.  In just over 24 hours, I run my first full Marathon. It's been said that you arent the same after youve completed Read more [...]

Thought Thirty-Four: Bizarre

Well. That was…odd. 40th birthday. Yeah, i’m THAT old. Deal with it. Anyway, I have been messaging back and forward for a week or more to organize a photoshoot with a model who for all intensive purposes shall remain nameless. Well, we figured on a time and place, and it happened to fall on my birthday, but since I wasnt exactly booked up for then, I thought, might as well do it then. It all went, well, wrong, yes, but also just, surreal. We decide to shoot at her apartment, its in Read more [...]

Thought Thirty Three: John Lennon’s Bed

Launched a website at midnight on Sunday. Got two hours sleep.  Went to the scene of John Lennon’s famous ‘Bed-In‘ hotel room. Almost exactly 42 years ago that this event happened. Hard to believe. It was part of a promotion from a local events company, they staged their own ‘bed-in’ to pay tribute to the event, and also kicking off publicity for their own event. The room is pretty much as it was when the event happened, a few minor cosmetic differences, and the view outside the Read more [...]

Thought Twenty Seven: Man Love

I was a young man who once loved a young man. This is my confession. 1989. Portsmouth, UK. I was 18. It was the year of Tiananmen, the Hillsborough Football Tragedy, and the Fall of the Berlin Wall. Before the rise of the Internet, before Cellphones. And I was in love. Techically, I was in straight, heterosexual love with my first love, the girl at the time I was pretty sure I would marry and spend the rest of my life with. However, on a developing subplot, there was Ag. Yes, that Read more [...]

Thought Twenty Six:Cat+High Place=Black Eye

Yes, my kitty cat, my adorable ball of fluffy fun managed to give me a black eye this morning. Let me explain (Mists of recollection descend, screen goes all wibbly wobbly, flashback commences) The weather is changing here, and during the winter, my cat and I curl up together for warmth. SO far so good. As the weather changes, my cat seeks cooler climbs, or perhaps just prefers to stretch out somewhere with a good view. Either way, she often looks for high ground to sleep. In this case, High Read more [...]

Thought Twenty-Five: Unrequited Love, Desire, and other mysteries

Without love our life is … a ship without a rudder … like a body without a soul. ~Sholem Aleichem Every day, we strive to achieve something. Whether the goals be small (catch the right bus, finish the work, be on time for our meeting) or large (be a better person, decide what studies to take, figure out a long-term project), we all have an innate need to attain, to complete, to finish. Even the least motivated amongst us, the most directionless have needs, wants, stuff they dont have now, Read more [...]

Thought Twenty-Four: Bad Dreams, Bad Movies

Funny, looking at the title I just wrote. Dreams are really what movies want to become. More Immersion than 3-D smell-o-vision, or any exotic technology yet to come for a long while. I remember the film ‘Strange Days’ where theres a little gadget that can record experiences and replay them to someones mind directly as if they are actually in the experience themselves. All our technology, our Hollywood wizardry, armies of geeks, racks of computing power, people trained for their entire lives Read more [...]

Thought Twenty-Three: Lets Go Running

Strange things happen during a run. There have been books, documentaries, endless reams of documentation about running, the art of running, the loneliness of a long distance runner, etc, so I wont attempt to top those respected works, but I thought I would take you on a run with me, while it is fresh in my head, so you know how it feels, or at least, how it feels in my head whilst running. First, I bear the scars of a distance runner. These are branding, far more than any fitness logo on Read more [...]

Thought Twenty-Two: Bits and Pieces

My mind cant focus on one particular thing, so this is a random mash up of the mush sloshing around in my brain cells right now. First, I should really write more in this blog. I apologize if anyone actually reads this for the scarcity of blog posts. I know when I read other peoples blogs that I admire, I often mentally admonish them for not writing more often, yet here I am, slacking on my own little corner of the world. No excuses or anything, life just takes over. I really need an avenue of Read more [...]

6 Months In…

Well, here we are. 6 months down, to the day. I was saying I didnt want this to be a fitness blog, so most likely this is my last direct post on the matter, or at least the last post only discussing this. I am down to my target weight, in fact, just under it. I use my new ‘maximum’ weight level as 180lbs, meaning thats what I dont want to go over. Im currently around 178lbs. Thats 34 pounds lost. I have been down as much as 36 pounds, usually after a long run. Speaking of running, I invested Read more [...]

4 Months In…

Yup. 4 months in, 25 pounds later, same towel, same box sized room, same expressionless face, but thats me. Ok, Im not buff, not chiseled adonis-style body, stomach still painfully noticable, but im getting there. Im 4 months into my 6 month exploration, again, Im trying to avoid the words ‘diet’ and ‘exercise’, its a change of lifestyle. Actually, a thought crossed my head a little while ago, I really cant go back to what I was, I cant slip into the old habits. I can slip up from time Read more [...]

Documentary Blog – Day 6

The days tick onward….fatigue is setting in a little, not so much that we dont have enough sleep, as Musa says ‘the brain is good, the body is not’ For him the hardest thing is the driving, 4, 5, 6 hours every day.  He keeps leaving his glasses in various locations, or just doesnt wear them, and I have to say his driving skills leave a lot to be desired. I am often finding myself lurching around the vehicle, clutching the dash for dear life. Today we are off to another reserve, called Read more [...]

Documentary Blog – Day 5

What started out, in theory, to be a relatively light day’s activities turned out actually to be particularly heavy. A large part of it, as is the norm now, was driving, getting lost, finding things, getting lost again, and then figuring out where we were going (or as Musa somewhat misleadingly titles it, ‘touring around’) The first person we met, which gave some valuable information from an educated perspective, a woman called Rita. She has been fighting on behalf of the First Native Veterans Read more [...]

Documentary Blog – Day 4

Better day, although technical problems that Musa doesnt know about yet, so that will probably bring him down again. Some snags on his camera. We went to a North American Indian reservation (now, I know a good percentage of you right now are visualizing teepees, chiefs in big headresses dancing and leaping round fires, pipes of peace, etc etc….its ok, its what I thought too, dont feel bad) A place of between 50 and 500 people, depending on who you believe, a space roughly 6 by 8 miles, Mistawasis. Read more [...]

Documentary Blog – Day 3 – Regina

Difficult day. A little demoralizing. 6 millions things to do, and none of them quite working out. Back to Regina for another days shooting our First Nations Veteran, Howard Anderson. This time we were being filmed as we filmed the guy, but another woman working for a local cable company, who wanted to interview Musa about what we were doing, so the apartment was awash with cables, people and gadgets. The sound didnt record properly the first hour of shooting, the camera froze twice and lost about Read more [...]

Documentary Blog – Day 2 – Regina

Yesterday was the first day of filming. 3 hours drive from Saskatoon to Regina, the capital city of the province, to meet our first interviewee, Howard Anderson. He is 86 years old, joined the army, like his father before him to fight for his country. He has a photo album with a picture of him as a fresh recruit, when he was 16. Crazy. In modern society, joining the army, taking the responsibility would be forbidden at that age. His stories are full of warmth and laughter, he has an infectious Read more [...]

Documentary Blog – Day 1 – Saskatoon

It’s Tuesday morning, and I wake up in Saskatoon, a city of 200,000 people. So, what am I doing here, 2000km west from Montreal, you might ask? Well, this is day one of filming a documentary for my main client, Musa Kala. Over the past few months, we have been assembling the equipment, and lining up interview dates for his new documentary. He is interviwing WW2 veterans in diverse locations. I wont go into plot and details for now, as its still early days. Little details will come out in Read more [...]

Thought Seventeen: First Love 3

The car slowed and stopped as she slipped past the vantage point I had from the front steps, but I already knew what was coming. I was kind of numb about it, in denial. I knew, but I didnt know, or wasnt really preparing myself for the news. Anyway, she came in, we made small talk, which was bizarre, given the gravity of the occasion, but what else could we have done? Humans are illogical frustrating creatures anyway. Then she explained, she had made her decision, she was choosing him, it wasnt Read more [...]

Thought Sixteen: First Love 2

So, despite the level of stress, we continued. During that summer, I lived in London with my mom, and Rosalie in Portsmouth with her parents. We traveled to see each other when we could. In spite of everything, we were solid, strong, firm in our commitment. Or, at least, I was. I was blinded by affection, unwavering in my trust. That level of trust in first love never returns. She had been invited to a friends birthday party in a nightclub. She was hesitant in going, even talked to me at length Read more [...]

Thought Fifteen: First Love 1

It is true what the majority of people say, that the first time you fall in love, you fall the hardest. Its the only time in my life I have ever trusted someone unquestioningly, and would gladly give myself to them. The only time where I can confidently say that I never questioned my feelings, my faith in that person, that I would have died to preserve things between us. That intensity fades with each subsequent relationship, and its probably a good thing too. Humans arent designed to love all the Read more [...]

Thought Fourteen: Things I Hate

As Bill Hicks once said ‘dont mind me, Im just filling up my hump of hate’. I hate being misunderstood. Misinterpreted. Misrepresented. Undervalued. Ignored. Mistaken. They may sound like a mini-list in itself, but actually, its all related. Soul crushing moments, like being at a party and saying a joke that only you smile at whilst other people are obviously ignoring you. Having faith, hope, positivity in humanity, only to have your hope crushed a little. Even the simple things, someone saying Read more [...]

Thought Thirteen: More Dreams

Shrugged off 6 hrs or so of sleep. Still hanging over me like a constricting shroud. Downing an energy drink to break the funk of tiredness. Im not going to let this blog turn into a dream diary or anything, in fact, im not a great fan of those, but this particular dream stuck with me. Two odd things about this dream, one is that I remember it with such clarity, and second, I have had it twice in the last few days, plus the second time was referencing and backing up the first time. The second Read more [...]

Intermission

Up until 8am, worked through the night on my own thing. Recorded an accapella version of a new track off Imogen Heap’s new CD. Debating whether to share it with anyone or not. Tried adding a video…its taking too long to make. May add to the video version sometime soon. Dont want to be torn apart in critiques due to my generally lame voice. One of the roomates overheard me singing during the night, and it made him laugh. Not a good sign. Then again, I was on headphones, so all he heard was my Read more [...]

Thought Twelve: Love

10 Things I love: I love the way my cat sleeps under my arm, next to me when I go to sleep. I Love the ‘a-HA’ moment when Im creating. That flash of inspiration, the breakthrough on something. The longer the struggle before the moment, the more satisfying the breakthrough becomes. I love being listened to, interacted with, appreciated for my presence. A glass of red wine and a small group of friends gathered in intelligent conversation. I love the moments before orgasm. The edge of Read more [...]

Thought Eleven: I Remember

You see, its what you forget. What you lose. What slips through your brain full of holes. The little things, the stuff of life, the stuff that makes you smile, makes you cry. The lead character from the film ‘Everything Is Illuminated’, Jonathan, would collect things from an early age, little things, and preserve them in baggies, those little plastic airtight seal-able bags, and then stick them on his wall, with a time and a date. He did so because he didnt want to forget anything. Us humans Read more [...]

Thought Ten: Begging

My policy on begging, beggars, etc. Dont give them money. Thats it really. Dont do it. This is a difficult and problematic decision to make, and theres bound to be people out there that disagree with me. After all, just like waitresses rely on tips to supplement their minimum wage earnings, beggars rely on the kindness of strangers to provide them basic money. This is my train of thought. Choo Chooo! If I give a beggar some money, I dont know where that money goes. Does it go towards food, Read more [...]

Thought Nine: Dreams

No, I’m not talking about career aspirations, or goals, or wishful thinking, Im talking about the stuff you do when you snore and drool. Yes, I drool in my sleep, I admit it. Nasty habit, but Im not even sure if theres anything that can be done about it. Dreams are odd things. Are they visionary thought processes? Premonitions? Can they tell us more about ourselves? I lean more towards that they are just our brains processing stuff, getting rid of extra stuff that we didnt deem so important Read more [...]

Though Eight: Hitchiking Five

The longest trip I attempted, in my younger more optimistic days (not that im THAT old now, it just feels like it) was a trip from London, UK to the South of France to see a friend who was working in a holiday camp for a summer job. Im not sure I would attempt the same kind of journey these days, which says something for the current world that we live in, and the mindset of people, or maybe its just that Im older, and less willing to leave things in the random world of chance of hitching. Having Read more [...]

Though Seven: Hitchiking Four

Ok then, we’ve pretty much covered this topic, but heres my two most unusual lifts: The first, forgive me, is a story I tell from time to time, so if youve heard it before, well, just skip over it, but it is still interesting. There is pretty much two main roads that connect England to Scotland, and they cross over around 2 or 3 hrs of pretty much nothingness. To be trapped in the middle of these places is pretty much death to any sane hitchiker, so its imperative to get a lift that traverses Read more [...]

Thought Six: Hitchiking Three

There are days when it takes forever to go a few miles down the motorway, and there are days when everything just comes together, days when I was actually faster than public transport. I lost count of the number of lifts, of the miles travelled. I managed to cover the majority of the UK, I even made it from London to the South of France and back. When I was unemployed for a while, I would hitchike twice a week, a commute of about 250 miles in each direction, from London to Wales, just to DJ for Read more [...]

Thought Five: Hitchiking Two

So! If youve followed the steps in the last blog, then youre ready to go, and you stand a good chance getting a lift. Thumb out, smile, clear sign, dont let them get to you… Its a weird kind of feeling, hitching. You are completely at the mercy of complete strangers. They will have complete control over your day. Obviously, the tips I outlined in the first post will possibly have upped the odds a little, but at the end of the day, theres the drivers that will tend to pick up hitchers, and Read more [...]

Thought Four: The Magic!

I did my time in higher education (in fact, more than my allotted time, considering I tried, quit, and tried again) at, primarily, Newport College of Art and Design, in Newport, surprisingly enough, in Wales. The course was a B.A. in Fine Art, but it was a progressive course, at the time, it encouraged the use of mixed media, new technologies. It was a bold progressive move, there was a diverse mix of students, from the traditional painters, to the geeks, which I was a part of, I guess. It was, Read more [...]

Thought Three: Tears

The first film I ever cried to. When I was a teenager, I would suppress the urge to display emotion in soppy films. Actually, its more accurate to say that I wasnt really moved by any of them to any extent. Memory is hazy, but I was 14-ish, in the front room, watching a late movie. I was up late, later than I should be, I think, my mom was out, and I got caught up in this film. I havent seen it all the way through since, but I remember the urge, the desire the character displays, the longing for Read more [...]

Thought Two: Scorned

I was at school. I want to say, something like 14. Not entirely sure, but somewhere around that. Teenage crushes, finding your feet, defining your personality. Generally school was an unhappy time for me, but that can be saved for another post. Foggy recollection about this particular one. I had a girlfriend for a while at school…I cant remember anything about her now, which is ironic, as the cloud of memory surrounding her and the time we were together isnt the point of the story. Heaven has Read more [...]

Thought One: Hitchhiking One

When I was a teenager, fresh out of University, or rather, fresh out of uncompleted University, I wanted to live the student lifestyle, hanging on to what mystique remained of the student life. Eating pot noodles, watching daytime TV, sleeping at unusual hours, living on the basics, and my travel ethic followed the same principles. I wanted to hitchhike. The romantic notion of travelling under your own steam, meeting new people, going from place to place in a leisurely, chaos driven pace and most Read more [...]